January 29, 2006

Sunday, January 29, 2006
Thoughts Current mood: sad
I find it amazing how people that we never meet, impact our lives. My sister and her husband had a good friend who lived in Fayetteville. He had been an Army Major, but resigned his commission so he could join the Special Forces. That's where he knew my brother in law and sister from. From all accounts, he was a marvelous person. Vivacious, full of life, extremely funny and just one of those people that always had a smile and never a bad word against someone. He also, quietly, suffered from Depression. At 39, he took his life. He came home from work on Monday for lunch, left to go back and never came home. His friends located him on Thursday.
Again, I didn't know him, but I know the suffering. It was just one more wake up call that reminded me how very fortunate and lucky I am to have the family and support that I do. I've been going to the website they set up in his memory daily, looking at the pictures of an outgoing man in different locations with a huge smile on his face and his wife and two small children at his side. I read the guest book that describes how everyone saw him as the most outstanding and dedicated man they ever met. How he changed lives by his mere presence and always positive attitude. Always positive in their presence. I cry.
There are people who suffer from mental issues and the whole world knows. They thrive on wallowing in their own misery. They make sure everyone knows and they refuse help. Then there are others. The ones that are embarrassed by their "condition". The ones who suffer silently and confide in few, if any, people. I think these are the ones at the most risk. They can't process who they are and why their different. They put on a mask and go through life and then, it's over. They got minimal help. No one saw the problem because, by goodness, they were always so darn upbeat. No one ever sees the downside until it's too late.
So, my point in all this is, take a good look at those around you. Don't judge, don't belittle. Support people and love them. If someone has the courage to confide in you, then you are special. Make sure you follow up with them and take notice. Support them in any treatment and help that they may need and push them in that direction. They are your friend and I'm pretty sure you want them around as long as possible to share weddings, births, graduations, retirements and many rounds of golf. Remind them of that, because no matter how upbeat they may seem, it's a very dark place they go when no one else is looking.